This was initially part of the random quotes section of my first day 44 post, but it snowballed. Besides, it is worthy of its own post. A disclaimer. Sex and the City--the HBO Zeitgeist television series--is sacred to me in the way that Star Wars is sacred to men who came of age in the late 70s and 80s.* When HBO cancelled the series, I actually cried. It was a loss. It was my Sunday night treat enjoyed with Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream from 31 Flavors. Don't judge. At least, I don't have any action figures or kitchenware based on the series.
La Douleur Exquise is from Season 2. My fevered mind sought succor and insight based the following quotes and then it snowballed: Inspired by my own Mr. Big, whom/who I keep trying to untie myself from because he is unavailable in oh, so many ways. But I cannot let go. Not really, not for very long because *something* won't let me. Because, my stupid, deluded heart continues to think that, at some level, it's meant to be, and that letting go, really letting go is a mistake on par with Luke's initial attraction to Leia, who as we all know was his sister. Fuck-a-doodle-do.
BESIDES, it is just a fucking great episode. I urge my sexually adventurous friends who closet their fetishes to watch this episode. You know who you are!
So, these initial quotes are from the middle and end of the episode but fuck it, my head hurts and I have to pick up my sunshine girl soon:
“Why do I keep doing this to myself? I must be a masochist or something. That's when I first realized it. I was in an S & M relationship with Mr. Big. In love relationships, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact, it's a common belief that a relationship without pain......is a relationship not worth having. To some, pain implies growth. But how do we know when the growing pains stop......and the “pain-pains” take over? Are we masochists or optimists, if we continue to walk that fine line? When it comes to relationships.....how do you know when enough is enough?"
“There were no words left. We'd said them all. After we made love, I knew it was over. Did I ever really love Big or was I addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable.....I wanted to go to him, but I felt like I was tied to the chair. Some part of me was holding me back, knowing I had gone too far. Reached my limit. And just like that, I had untied myself from Mr. Big. I was free. But there was nothing exquisite about it.”
And the fact that this episode is all about fetishes. It opens in a S&M restaurant, and the "girls" including Sanford talk about fetishes. Carrie's voice-over opening:
"New York City restaurants are always looking for the next new angle.....to grab that elusive and somewhat jaded Manhattan palate. Last year, it was”Fusion-Cajun.”Last month, it was”Mussels from Brussels.”
And tonight, it's “S & M.” Samantha's PR firm was hired to do the opening party for La Douleur Exquise.
Translation: The Exquisite Pain. Of course, we were all invited. This is what happens when the Mayor shuts down the sex shops. It pops up in your cuisine."
Samantha explains: "Don't be so judgmental. This is just a sexual expression. All these people have jobs and pay their bills. They're just having fun with fetishes...We all have a fetish. The difference between us and them is: They're putting it out there where everyone can see. I think it's healthy and fabulous."
Carrie leaves to see Big, with a riding crop, and reminds her friends that: "Whipping on the first date is considered forward."
Charlotte has a shoe fetish and meets her Prince Charming in Buster, a shoe salesman with a foot fetish. He first gives Charlotte a big discount and then free shoes when she lets him handle her feet. Charlotte returns to the shoe store and Buster literally cums in his pants as he puts new shoes on her feet "Charlotte looked down at the exquisite shoes. The smell of leather was intoxicating. Charlotte felt like Cinderella. Cinderella in a dirty, kinky, freaked out, storybook, parallel universe."
Miranda gets picked up by Jack while shopping for books on the street. Jack likes to have sex in places where he could get caught. In public (outside the house where Twain wrote a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court), in his bedroom with his visiting parents in the next room.
Sanford has an underwear fetish and goes to a gay club where the fellows have to strip down to their skivvies...Funk's your brother is playing, which might be one of the best songs ever...
*The HBO series is sacred. The movies are mainly just to feed the withdrawal and the aching, gaping whole left by the series absence. The first movie was decent. And the second movie was an elaborate, extended commercial for high-end clothing and other consumer goods.
**Here is a website that has the scripts from the show. In addition to text, it contains the actual audio from the episodes: http://www.satctranscripts.com/2008/08/sex-and-city-season-2-episode-12.html
***And wisdom from Samantha from the next episode "Games People Play": "The only place you can control a man is in bed. If we perpetually gave men blow jobs, we could run the world." And Carrie observes that "at least our hands would be free to greet dignitaries and stuff."
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