I am blithely ignoring the gnawing headache, general wonkiness, and dizziness. Ignoring the fuzzy hair and pale, sickly look that can only be procured from lying curled on the couch for four days and consuming only white toast and ginger ale. Ignoring the twin piles of work on my desk. (See descriptive photo).
Listening to this woman [who] "was singin' my song."* Not Lisa Loeb but Florence and the Machine singing about the ghost filling up her lungs, sighing in her sleep, entwined in her tongue as she falls at his feet...one of my 2011 functional equivalents of Lisa Loeb's "Stay" who set the bar for being the woman "singin' my song."** Am perhaps a handful of people who know that she once dated Ethan Hawke. And that he memorialized her and their relationship in his first novel.*** His soulmate, who he ditched for his should.
This could be why I am so very fucked up. Layer upon layer upon layer of "tangled, rusted, dented, Goddamned misery"**** from childhood and beyond. I should have been a relationship archaeologist or something.
Quotes of the day inspired by randomness ranging from my own personal obsessions and stray comments made on my friends' facebook posts and the butterfly effect in general:
"You're the reason that cavemen chiseled on walls." As Good as it Gets (From a friend's status update about caving in and finally getting cable and her friend's comment, wondering if she lives in a cave).
"I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me." (Inspired by looking up the cavemen quote to quote it accurately. As Good as it Gets might be one of the best movies ever.)
"I gotta pee." Forrest Gump (Inspired by the fact that I've got to pee).
*Lisa Loeb, Stay. "So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up, and this woman was singing my song:
lover's in love, and the other's run away, lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay. Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was dying since the day they were born. Well, well, this is not that; I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown. And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure. You try to tell me that I'm clever, but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you. You said that I was naive, and I thought that I was strong. I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave." Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you. Yeah, I miss you."
** Florence and the Machine, I am not calling you a liar. "There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep. Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speak. Then it walks, then it walks with my legs. To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet. There but for the grace of God go I. And when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die...There's a ghost in my mouth and it talks in my sleep wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks, then it walks with my legs. To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall
To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall...To fall, to fall at your feet"
***The Hottest State was Ehtan Hawke's first novel. Yes, that Ethan Hawke, and I did say first novel. His second was Ash Wednesday, which I did not read but will look for at Borders, which is soon to be closed. Forever. And also interrelated to my layers. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
****Jann Arden, Good Mother
My desk:
No comments:
Post a Comment