It really, really sucks when you have incorporated a man into your routine, especially parts of your routine that you really love like my post-gym Starbucks, Target, and the movies. Stopping at Starbucks for my post-gym tall decaf* non-fat cocoa cappuccino made me remember how we used to have coffee "together" and had some amazing conversations that made the thousands of miles of distance between us vanish. Visiting Target tonight nearly made me cry--one of the happiest places on earth for me. The chocolate bunnies kissing that I texted him a photo of and asked him to be my hunny bunny; the delft-blue faux china that I imagined that we might someday have in "our" kitchen. Even though he is a dick and I don't want him back. I still miss the idea of him or maybe just the idea of someone to ask about my day...
As mentioned, when the cowardly bastard told me it was over in an email and refused to talk to me like a man or a human being, I immediately de-friended him on Facebook. We actually met on Facebook on a movie lover's page, and he even sent Mark What's His face an email thanking him for helping him find the love of his life. (Feel free to throw up a little in your mouth). We still both belong to a movie quotes page and he is back posting on there like nothing has changed for him. I am remembering that I am being my highest and best self and resisting the urge to comment on one of his posts that he is a fucking cowardly lying bastard and not to believe a single word that he writes, to double check his quotes and his stupid movie clips. But I am not 12 or 16 or a psycho-bitch. Sigh.
*I only drink decaf after 7pm and don't trust people who ordinarily drink decaf. What's the point? The Duck always drank decaf, and I should have taken it as a fucking sign.
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